The continuing saga of a good magazine gone bad

The Killers have been the "next big thing" since a year ago.

Nothing wrong with putting a band like this on the cover, Sia.

But it would have been more fitting last year, like, when they were actually on the rise.

There was once a time that SPIN was edgy and on the tip of good things. Now, it's a magazine that caters to the fringe of Rolling Stone readers. Proving once again that hitting the great pasty middle is not only easy but safe.

And it's also a reason that the Internet is making music magazines so irrelevant.

The best album review of the year. So far,

Shaking down Conor Oberst in the best way possible. Thank you, Keith Harris.

Guy Oseary's "On the Record"

It's fairly easy to hate Guy Oseary--this is the wunderkind who found himself head of A&R at Maverick Records at the age of 19, just in time to get on board the Alanis fame train and enable Candlebox to become a one-hit wonder. He's dated Paltrow and Demi Moore, he's a man about town, and he's more or less "graduated" to the movie business.

His new book is grating in this context, for it's hard not to feel some condescension in its premise: he "wanted to write a book" so he came up with the idea of sending the same dozen or so questions in his Rolodex. "Over 150 of the most talented people in music share the secrets of their success," says the book's tagline. And share they do. Oseary has enlisted all his friends to help us be like them!

Too bad much of the book sounds like my father talking. Or your father. Esteemed advice such as "work hard" clogs the book, and by the end it's pretty obvious that there's no secret door to walk through in the music business. Other than the one marked "Don't Step On Your Dick," of course.

Yet in that regard, it's thematically sound. Hard work IS the way to get ahead. The industry wouldn't have such a bad rap if more people did work hard. But the entertainment industry, with its diamond dreams and overbearing beauty quotient, has never been much of a mediocracy.

So while Oseary's done a pretty good job of tracking down some stars--never mind that Oseary's way too young to be lumped with a lot of the execs he interviewed--the book is a shallow read.

Dell's Kevin Rollins pokes head in sand, puts foot in mouth

20 years of success with the Walkman, a success that enabled Sony to grab the wide middle of consumer electronics, is totally ignored in Round Rock.

"It’s interesting the iPod has been out for three years and it’s only this past year it’s become a raging success. Well those things that become fads rage and then they drop off. When I was growing up there was a product made by Sony called the Sony Walkman – a rage, everyone had to have one. Well you don’t hear about the Walkman anymore. I believe that one product wonders come and go. "

The iPod has been the hottest consumer electronics product for over three years now. Line extensions (the iPod Mini and the iShuffle) have been successful without cannibalizing the original. The iTunes store--which sells songs that are onlyplayable on an iPod and won't play on a Dell MP3 player--sells a million songs per day.

This product--the iPod--is now 25% of sales at Apple after three years.

This product--the iPod--quickly blew away everything Dell's offered in the same category, despite Dell's price wars. It's beat up Dell without the advantage of Dell's built in market base.

Kevin needs some humility, or at least the sense not to talk out of his ass.

Tarzan Economics

An older but essential perspective on the music industry.

"The war is over. I call it Tarzan economics. They think they have to cling to a vine of revenue because it's the vine they're used to, and if they let go they fall to the jungle floor. You very quickly grab the next vine, but until it's there for you, you cling to the one you've got. It's a question of timing - when that vine will appear. We live in a time of transition.

They need to make the fundamental realization that control is not going to come to their rescue. We in the arts like to believe in the deus ex machina - this machine that in the third act of the opera that comes down and rescues the heroine from the flames. But there is no deus ex machina.

Lawyers and technologists continue to sell this snake oil of control, whether it's from the court and the police [RIAA legal jihad], or whether it's coming from technology [DRM]. Bill Gates for one has worked hard to convince people that the fat lady is going to be rescued by the machine. Once you reach the realization that it isn't going to solve our problems, then you begin to embrace the alternatives.

The publishing people know this, and they're quick to realize this. They were quick to recognize Napster. So we're left with a group of sound recording owners that's looking for a few more years of this resistance against the onslaught. But the war is over."

Griffin, Lessig, et al all buy into this same concept that since we can't control anything anymore, we should just quit trying. Or, essentially that a cost-benefit analysis would show that we'd be better using resources to find alternatives than wage a costly legal war. And clearly, it's an appealing sidestep of morals.

Copyright laws are hardly a point of moral relativity, and it's sad to see so many intellectuals dumb down theft to something that can only involve physical products. These people probably argue that only the "public" should own "art", that the Mona Lisa is everyone's. That DaVinci's personal drawings and diaries are the property of "the world" and too great a treasure to be hoarded. But you simply can't extend the argument to its end--at some point, theft is theft. Some art was not intended to be art--consider the demos of Dylan or the Beatles that were never officially released. Or the artwork given by Picasso as a personal gift to a friend. Or any creation that is used in ways that were unintended by its owner. That's the underlying problem right there, that music (or any art) is created under certain parameters or legal understanding. The point of creation endears certain rights that shouldn't be weakened down the road without express permission of the creator. And if we're so willing to dumb down intellectual theft, why are we so unwilling to dumb down physical theft? At some point this issue must be confronted in a more intellectual manner.

Still, Griffin is correct that the hand is being forced for cultural change. The point going forward is that owners of intellectual property need to focus on protecting the past and giving in to the future. This is what Griffin and Lessig never seem to address very competently--that you can't pretend the past doesn't exist simply because the future appears more compenent or reasonable.

the Incubator System

Coolfer mentions the latest spin from the Bunny.

This little ploy has been debated since early fall over at the Velvet Rope. You can't blame the major labels for this kind of thinking--business is not very good as the industry continues to wander towards decline.

The problem is that variations of this have been executed before--vanity labels, you'll remember, contained much of the same premise. And majors have set up distribution deals with some of the indies in hopes of essentially getting the same thing: hot acts whenever they become hot. The thinking goes that Warners can be the major leagues and have the indies as a lucrative farm system.

But that's more or less the way it is now--it's just that Warners will not want to be saddled with signing bonuses or any other contractual obligation that isn't favorable. And of course they shouldn't want these kinds of things. The problem is that a) no indie label of note will sign away things valuable things i.e. catalog to participate, b) why would an indie label want to get in bed with the competition, and c) this all looks like suspicious window dressing while other strategies within the label are being employed.

Coolfer is the best music biz blog.

If you haven't been reading Coolfer, it's probably about time to start.

Granted, like most blogs, it's more of an aggregator--more linkage than insight--but I like it that way. The linkage is pretty great; admittedly, I envisioned this blog very similar to Coolfer but realized that I wouldn't have time to do a good job. So while you get my opinion, get your news from Coolfer.

A few sage guidelines for publicists in the music business

OK, so maybe this new little blog called Promocopy isn't so mighty.

And maybe the audience for it isn't all that big.

But it's about time somebody started making fun of the spam eminating from the major labels.

DISCLOSURE: I've been moonlighting as a freelance music writer for a decade, just little stuff here and there (alt-weeklies, 'zines, a mag every now and then.) For those of you who are currently calling this your career, I'm proud of ya. I just can't imagine the compensation is worth the aggravation. I keep it as a hobby, and that way I'm never too let down by all the morons involved.

(Wow, did I just refer to publicists, managers, flacks, and artists as morons? Luckily I'm not biting the hand that feeds me.)

But since this blog is about the business of music, here is some business advice for the flacks of the world:

1. Don't send me shitty music unless I specifically request it.
You would think this would be obvious, but amazingly, some artists are so clueless that they authorize their flacks or street team or whomever to send me really bad stuff. I am not going to listen to an album I've never heard of on a label I've never heard of that was sent to me by someone I've never heard of who will never follow up with me anyway.

2. Send me music that I specifically request.
What's so hard about this one? One week, Flack is sending me mass emails about a band that she knows I don't give a shit about and then the next week I request the kit of an artist in her stable and my email goes unanswered.

Yeah, you'd think this was only a problem at the majors. Nope. It happens with many if not most indies, too. Matador, spinART, and other indies of note routinely blow me off. Never mind that I've pimped many of their acts in the past.

I'm not talking about begging for the new Radiohead months before it's out. I'm talking about minor league acts, acts that need all the publicity they can get. There's no point in naming names, but I'd really love it if someone from V2 would start replying to my emails so I can start pitching Brendan Benson's new album.

3. Send out promo discs that have blank album art. Send pictures of the album art and liners with the kit.
SubPop has done this forever. It's smart, and self-explanatory. And the end of physical product is definitely on the horizon.

But if you think you have to send out promos that are essentially the same as the retail version of the product, then stop drilling holes in the cases and stop putting "THIS IS A PROMOTIONAL COPY ONLY--NOT FOR RESALE" stickers everywhere. Because when you do that, it makes it a lot harder for us to sell them on eBay or at the corner bong/music store.

4. Return phone calls.
Why do i have to remind flacks to do this?

5. DON'T EVER GIVE ME AN INTERVIEW WITH THE DRUMMER YOU DUMBASS.
The reasons are obvious for this, flack. There are lots of nice drummers in the world, but most have no personality or little to do with the songwriting. Most of all THEY DON'T SELL MAGAZINES OR NEWSPAPERS.

Every year some flack says they are getting me the frontman and when the phone rings, the drummer is waiting. This happens once a year, out of perhaps two dozen interviews. Every single year. And don't get me started about saying you'll get me the front man and then, after I sell the story, you give me the bass player. Yep, that happens once a year, too.

6. Don't tell me I have 20 minutes, then start the interview late and cut me off after 12 minutes.
Happens more than once a year.

7. Nobody reads realllllllyyyyyy longggggggggg spam emails.
There are several publicists who send out mass emails that read like press releases.

An email is NOT a press release. You must be more succinct, flack. You must--get this one--customize from time to time. What? You don't want to customize 200 emails? Then don't send a mass email like that, unless it is very brief. Because we're not reading them.

Example: Let's say you're pimping the new Doves album, which is coming out in March.

Email Title: new DOVES album to be released March 25
Email Body: Two sentences why I should know about this band.

8. Follow up, follow up, follow up.
If you are a flack working for me, I expect you to be working. This means doing things like sending out personal emails, working the grass roots, sending out kits and then following up by phone or email until you get a response.

There is a very strong tendency in the music business to keep waitstaff hours and blow off details. I loathe people like this, especially flacks. I don't care if you don't think I'm important, but don't half-ass it if you're going to engage me.

9. Don't lie.
If a band sucks or you don't like what they do, then admit it.

10. Buy me a drink.
Most writers are living right near the poverty level, and if they're freelancing they probably don't even have health care. Maybe they don't deserve anything better, but always buy writers booze.

Dissing the iPod shuffle

Creative CEO Sim Wong Hoo doesn't get it.

"We’re expecting a good fight but they’re coming out with something that’s five generations older. It’s our first generation MuVo One product feature, without display, just have a (shuffle feature). We had that — that’s a four-year-old product. So I think the whole industry will just laugh at it, because the flash people — it’s worse than the cheapest Chinese player. Even the cheap, cheap Chinese brand today has display and has FM. They don’t have this kind of thing, and they expect to come out with a fight; I think it’s a non-starter to begin with."

The problem with Creative products is that a) their hardware has only recently had a passable design and b) their software has always been bad. And the guy is forgetting that Apple is selling one MILLION downloads a day from the iTunes Music Store. His product--the entire line--cannot play iTunes songs.

The other problem is that Creative declared war on the company that basically raised the tide in the MP3 player market--massive sales of the iPod no doubt have spurred sales for Creative. That, and given that Apple is a billion dollar company with 65% of the MP3 player market, you'd think this guy would pause to think before speaking.

Apple is going to sell at least 1,000,000 of the iShuffle next year. And the marketshare will come from Creative's back pocket unless music distribution changes.

Just like their computers, Apple is presenting a closed system and it is welcomed on the market. It makes Apple vulnerable to novel technology, but they've clearly won this generation's VHS/Beta battle.

BuzzMachine... by Jeff Jarvis

What kind of pressure will this put on the recording industry?

If you're younger than 40 years old, and gainfully employed in the music business, you should be reading this post by Jeff Jarvis and carefully considering the implications.

I've warned you before that kids younger than 10 will likely never pay for a CD on their own, or if they do it will be rare occasion and a pain in the ass that they resent.

The first generation of pure downloaders will also likely be the first generation to have total control over their video ingestion.

In case you've been sleeping at the wheel for the past decade, video-based entertainment (games/DVDs/Tivo) is voraciously devouring leisure time among teens. Music is still important, but it's more and more a pasttime of background. Prior to TV, MTV, and the Internet, kids had to use their imagination with musicians, and the mystique was a compelling compulsion to buy.

Not any more.

If you are an artist, how will this even greater demand on visuals affect you?
If you are on the business side, how are you going to stay on the leading edge or at very least, keep yourself from being run off the road by technology?

Once again, let's apply modern business principles to the music business:

The Industry is mature and will face decline sooner rather than later. The classic symptoms--price wars, massive conglomeration, commodification of product, lack of innovation, etc.--have been giving their telltale signs for a decade now. The big three or four labels are far too entrenched in defensive warfare to see or even react to what's going on around them.

Which is why some risk taker, a person in the mold of Richard Branson or Mark Cuban, is going to be the innovator.